You are in the zone. You've left the emotional spin cycle, for now, and the Lord has delivered you onto solid ground. You are in the phase that most broken couples never make it to, and the journey was incredible. Through burning hell holes, leach infested swamps, and dry desserts you've crawled. And you have crawled my sister.
For anyone trying to heal a broken marriage, this is how it's done. Healing is NOT going to happen in a week, or a month, or a year. It will take MANY years, and you will NEVER get "back" together, you will only move forward into something new. The sooner you can accept that reality, the sooner you can move forward and let go.
Your M died a long time ago and will hopefully not be resurrected. It is a NEW marriage, between new people you should hope for. You can fight, hold on to the old feelings, old behaiviors, old concepts. You can make attempts to fix, control, and convince your spouse. But in the end, it is YOU who need be fixed, YOU need be humble, YOU need to love unconditionally. It may not be politically correct, but it is evidenced here.
Healing happens in baby steps. It's impossible to recognize any progress from day to day, but look back over time and realize the growth. Live in the moment, but measure the growth in the decades.
AmyC, you stood in marriage while all hell broke loose around you. You had faith when there was nothing to hope for. Temptation, fear, anger, selfishness, were on a relentless attack. You are a warrior! You were near death many times, but you never gave up. Evil kills marriages, and evil dwells within all of use. Our God is more powerful, but that leaves us smack in the middle, left to our own free will. There may be no guaruntees, no promises, no rewards, but there is still faith. The depth of our faith will dictate the degree of our healing and growth.
Just keep doing what you're doing AmyC. Be your faithful self, take one step at a time, and rest assured that you are loved beyond your wildest imagination. I recognize where you are right now, I think I've been there or at least close. It is truly a miraculous journey, and one baby step away from whatever comes next.
I am sooooo proud and thankful for you!
Love,
COG
My Mufasa
I didn't even send up a smoke signal this time and here you are...
Wow - I think for once I might be speechless.
I'll tell you a secret - I used to not buy all that humble pie crap.
Til I was force-fed a table full of it about 8 or 10 times
