Things I learned from C: 1. There was a reason I had the As. I know my needs weren't getting me. Not rocket science. Not a justification at all, but still a SIGN. 2. It is true that I did not just wander down the road of life and think "oh, gee, I think I'll have an affair." Not by a long shot. I did not plan it. It happened because of something, and I never had much insight on myself. I will say that. 3. Going to C, I have learned what my triggers are. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am a MARTYR. Big surprise, huh? I think a lot of us are. I am fine for so long, but 1. not being listened to and my opinions/wants/needs being taken into account is big for me and 2. not really feeling like I matter, that I am just here to cement the family, makes me feel like cr@p. So those are my triggers. Anything that makes me start to feel RRRRR...is a trigger. And at that time, I need to fix it. Not wait til it happens five times or however many times it takes to "justify" an affair in mind. I need to go talk to someone. I need to let it out. I need to take care of me. What ever it is, there are a million other choices than turning to someone else.
So that was my big "revelation". That there were triggers. And that I could stop them.
Your W can too.
Good luck.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
