I've been following your story since my H and I are both retired AF and can identify, I guess. I do, however, wish that you weren't in the situation you are in. I've read your thread from the very beginning and have yet to find any indication that your W is having an affair...I'm sure the guys (Puppy for one?) would disagree, but isn't it possible that your W is just enjoying not answering to anyone right now?
Depending on the phone company, you both may be able to access the bill on line. You could register your phone number and have your own password and the wife could do the same. Of course the paper bill will only to go the main person on the account (her), but you don't really care about that, anyway.
I hope your situation gets better. My only suggestion is to try and look back at the things you've done that maybe pushed your W away and change them. It's not too late...
