Thank you all, your posts made me smile. It is so great to have encouragement!
I have to admit I did have a wobble not knowing whether to bring up the house split or not but I texted it to Lisa instead
I have to say the meeting has affected me more than usual; I have been struggling today a bit which made me cross with myself. But I thought I would give myself a break and allow myself to feel sh*t for a day, after all it is stressful at the moment with the house stuff and work is busy. I had a bit of a wobble before I came home, basically not wanting to return to this house alone but of course I had to and it was fine once I got home - the cat is being especially cute tonight. I actually wanted to cry - I thought wow - that would be a really good release - but I was on a packed tube train home so I couldn't and now of course I don't want to.
He did have a dead look for sure and kept going quiet. I did ask him if he was ok and he said yes, just really tired. He had been out of the office doing spot checks yesterday and it had really taken it out of him. I do think that was probably why he was slightly hard work. I have noticed that he seems to respond well if I ask him how he is or show concern, his eyes always soften.
I actually met some goals in this meeting - we actually had a social meeting rather than business - even if it was unintentional. - he did not put work above me - I felt he had devoted time to me - I did not blow up at him not bringing the papers and I think he now knows I won't hence him not cancelling the meeting. - he is being helpful and responding to texts/ emails in good time. - we have easy, non-pressured, 'free' chat. - I feel confident and that he is not in the position of power. We are equals again in the relationship we have.
If I were to carry on DBing my goals would be - I would like to have some more meetings that aren't just about business. - I would like him to feel comfortable enough to touch me again, even if it is just a touch on the arm to say goodbye. - I would like him to ask me for my opinion and help like he used to and for us to share ideas.
However, this will take a great deal of emotional effort to carry out and I am kind of scared as I had felt really detached and for some reason this meeting has 're-attached' me. I don't want to prolong my agony, as it were. I was doing just great before this. Is it worth it I guess and I am not sure any real progress is being made.
