I think UPS pays more than that and has terrific benefits. I don't know what type of job you're going for, but obviously if you're going to be forced to take something for $8, you might as well go for a job that you've always wanted to try.
You know, you'll probably catch hell for last night from lots of our friends. I'm not going to smack you around. It's just a backslide. At this point (the end of your rope), what difference does it really make. Maybe you wanted to spew once more before letting go.
When you described the "limp handshake," I almost cried. How awful. When your husband is LD, he can't "fake it" - he has to get into it for it to work at all or nothing happens. An HD wife is at least spared the limp handshake. YUCK.
I hate to say it, but I would bet that your feelings about your marriage aren't helping you look for or land a job. The hunter/gatherer instinct might be out of whack, no matter how much you want to provide for your family. Our MC told my husband that his issues were definitely standing in the way of him "presenting well" in interviews (he hasn't been able to find a new job in 6 years, so he stays at his current one in misery).
All of last night was your basic animal self, not the Great Cinco that's been reading and thinking and working and reflecting. All you can do is get back up on your feet, brush it off, forgive yourself, hold your head up, and look forward with dignity.
