True Love or True Fog? Part II - The Fertile Void

[JDOllie]

Silver,
I agree with Pearl - this is CLASSIC rock bottom.

It's so funny that people say that this crap always ends up bad for the WAS, and it's so funny to see how it does.

But yeah, if his money troubles are that bad, do NOT get dragged into it!

[hope3343]

Hey Silver, so should we play kumbaya. So sorry about this little mess, can we talk so I can wrangle everything I can without somebody being there in your best interest! unbelievable.

I remember when my H when he was talking about moving out and D he said to me "I am just asking you to be fair". This was right before I found out he was cheating with is employee.
So when he wanted to have us sit down with one atty (hers by the way) and mediate this since we were "drifting", I said No way. I told him that I was interviewing Attys. He said why are you doing that...I said I need an atty that will be "fair" with me. You were not "fair" to me or our M the day you had an A-Fair"

Amazing how they start whining when they realize things are no longer going their way and not turning out the way they expected.

Here is my 2 word prayers that a friend gave me

Dear Lord

Chase him
Break him
Redeem him
Save him.

Hoping God is leading up to the break him stage to bring them home.

[Silver Fox]

Thanks for everyone's support.

I sent my L h's note today and he responded within minutes - "We need to get to mediation quickly".

It's going to be in about 3 weeks. They're booked - so many people going through the same damn thing.

But he also said it would be ok to meet with H if I wanted to "see where he's going with this".

I don't know. I set a pretty firm boundary last month when he asked to meet - I do not want to see you anymore if you're still involved with someone else. He's definitely still involved with OW. Would it show inconsistency if I broke it and agreed to meet with him?

[JDOllie]

I don't think you need to meet. The whole point of mediation is to have a supervised conversation to keep things fair and above board, and to have someone who is objective. They can suggest alternatives to sticking points. My thought would be that any meeting is going to cause an argument - it is not going to be a fun conversation.

If you are serious, I would stand by your statement. Personally, I think you have him on the run, and honestly, why would you do him any favors?

I don't suggest being unkind, but LBS get beat up so many times because they give in.

Just my opinion - you know what your heart is capable of, but to me, it's funny that H drops you, but then comes warbling back when the grass isn't quite as green on the other side.

I know how it feels to be scared you'll commit the "final push" to make them go away, but if something like this does that - especially with him not bothering to contact you in so long, then he was never really there.

[Silver Fox]

Thanks JD,

Every point you made rings true with me. Apparently, H doesn't even know yet that mediation is REQUIRED now that I've countered.

All last year we had many conversations that were not fun - usually ending up with me crying. I need to make sure that never happens again.

Now I need to figure out how to answer him - a polite no thank you, I'll let the mediator take care of it or, or what? Not sure yet.

Any advice?

[davidswife]

I wouldn't reply at all.

[whateverittakes]

Hi Silver,

I'm just getting caught up on your sitch... it sucks. Big hugs for you.

Protect yourself financially. As for the adultery charge, think carefully about what it will get you. It may be worth it, I don't know.

We're in very different places... but I did want to share with you that once you've been through your own emotional divorce, I hope (like me) that you find the water on the other side is very blue, very calm and the sun shines... it really does. I'm happier than I've been in years. I wish all of that and more for you.

[Tawnya]

{{{Silver}}} Ugh..I would agree that, if you said it and want to stick to it, then don't meet up with him..

As to how best to answer him, I dunno, maybe a polite no thanks or I meant when I said that OW in the picture = no meeting.

Tawnya

[Silver Fox]

Hi WIT,

So good to hear from you again! What's going on with you? Are you going through with a D?

Thanks for your encouragement. I like calm, blue water and lots of sunshine. I'll get there too, no matter what happens.

If you can, start your thread again. More people need to hear this.

Take care.

[Silver Fox]

Thanks Tawyna,

Yes, this is a tough one. To answer or not to answer.

I'm going to bed to sleep on it.

Your thread is locked!