Nothing new to report... I get to see my daughter a few minutes every morning at the daycare. Outside of that my wife has been controlling on not allowing me access.
I'm going to send her a txt message tonight asking if she and her brother want to come get some of her belongings, then I can spend a couple of hours with my daughter.
I trust her brother as a witness, don't want to be alone with her in any event.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
You need a lawyer, and if you already have one, he/she is borderline incompetent. Minutes a day? Please!
If it were me I would seek temporary orders ASAP to ensure you get reasonable access to your child and to further protect yourself financially. You have the right to a relationship with your child.
I am not a lawyer and this should not be construed as legal advice.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
I've hired a firm recommended by a lawyer friend I work with.
My W filed a motion for pendente lite relief, alleging that I haven't provided support, consistently refused support, etc. (we've barely been separated for over a month)
I filed a counter-motion requesting the same. Our attorneys are hashing it out. My wife's attorney is telling my attorneys that she has family members willing to testify to bruises, etc. where I've apparently beaten her (didn't happen at all).
Evidence on my side? I've been keeping a journal since this all started, I have copies of text messages where my wife was giving me a grocery list of items to buy, I have a receipt where I purchased those items, I've been paying $141 per month for my wife's health insurance/dental insurance, and I've offered to pay for half of anything regarding our baby should she provide me a receipt.
She has no problem lying, but luckily I'm anal about keeping everything written.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
My wife's attorney is telling my attorneys that she has family members willing to testify to bruises, etc. where I've apparently beaten her (didn't happen at all).
My wife's attorney is telling my attorneys that she has family members willing to testify to bruises, etc. where I've apparently beaten her (didn't happen at all).
Just Lawyer talk to try and bully!!
Yeah, I think they are trying to pressure me to settle for less than I figure I can get. I'm not going to be intimidated by that kind of stuff... though I am concerned if they make a judge concerned to "play it safe" I can get hurt. If so - I'm willing to go long-term to a trial.
Does anyone have recommendations on where to go to get advice? I'm pretty good about CYA and making sure I have documentation and evidence, but you never know.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Does anyone have recommendations on where to go to get advice? I'm pretty good about CYA and making sure I have documentation and evidence, but you never know.
The 1K I spent on a PI has (so far) come back to me 50 fold.
She knows I have SOMETHING on her, but she is not sure exactly what. The fact that she is so worried about it means that she must have been doing some pretty bad stuff that she doesn't want made public.
Good luck.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
The 1K I spent on a PI has (so far) come back to me 50 fold.
She knows I have SOMETHING on her, but she is not sure exactly what. The fact that she is so worried about it means that she must have been doing some pretty bad stuff that she doesn't want made public.
Good luck.
Yeah I've already spent 1.5k to get the evidence I required to hold up a fault ground for adultery. This was primarily to deflect all the false abuse crap she's been claiming in order to "get out" of the marriage.
She has been hysterical, and I think she even believes herself she's gotten so paranoid and crazy about it. She accused me of trying to "drown her" one time, and I asked what she was talking about and she said "You don't remember? You yelled at me when I was in the bathtub one time!"
She's trying to be the victim because she knows how guilty she feels, but really she needs to get over that. If she's given up on the relationship, the reasons don't matter. She needs to move on, quit trying to justify her leaving, and let me have meaningful involvement in raising our daughter. Running around screaming "ABUSE!" everywhere just creates a situation where you can't do anything productive.
I'd just rather we go ahead and be done with it.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Does anyone have recommendations on where to go to get advice? I'm pretty good about CYA and making sure I have documentation and evidence, but you never know.
The 1K I spent on a PI has (so far) come back to me 50 fold.
She knows I have SOMETHING on her, but she is not sure exactly what. The fact that she is so worried about it means that she must have been doing some pretty bad stuff that she doesn't want made public.
The great thing about this, if you think about it (and someone pointed it out to ME once), is that THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW.
So they have you assume, or at least be prepared for, the possibility that you know EVERYTHING.
When I had my "NO MORE DECEIT" re-confrontation with my wife, two months into her affair, we met in a parking lot at my request and I got into her car and sat in the "shotgun" seat. I had a large, manilla envelope with me, and I (rehearsed) tapped it lightly when I got to the part where I said "I had evidence" and that she needed to tell the truth to her parents and our adult daughters, or I was going to.
God only knows what she thought I had in there!!! The truth was, I had a stack of blank pages of paper in there.
All I had on her (and it was plenty) were voice recordings, which were inadmissable anyway.
Once, my voice recorder picked up her talking to OM and they actually thought I had photos from the time they hooked up at OM's friend's house. "Do you think he was outside the window???" Total paranoia -- and it was priceless.
I read through some of the truth darts you used in one of your old threads. Incidentally, how did those work out? At what point did they become useful (during fog/after?) I'm of the opinion that I need to get through the divorce, gain joint custody of my daughter, and then worry about what happens after that if she approaches me when the new 'relationship' falls apart.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Truth darts are meant to penetrate the thickest of the fog -- when the affair is active. People caught up in adultery can't be "taught," but you can get short "truth darts" in sometimes. I tried to use them 2-3x per week or so.
