First about the interview... $8/hr x 62 mandatory hours per week, 6 days a week, supervising what amounts to a sweat shop, no benefits, no vacation, 6 holidays. With the overtime the overtime about $30k a year. A waste of my time and gas basically. That's 50% more hours and half of what I was making before. I think Wal-Mart pays better than that.

Diane, we have to set our boundaries and stick to them. It is up to them to decide if they can meet it and if they can't then it is unacceptable and we move on. I want to be in a marriage where there is more.

UPDATE:

Last night as I got into bed W has the TV on tuned to Sean Hanity. It was about 11:30 and I'm thinking, "This crap is gonna keep me awake and I've got to get up for that interview." I say, "Is that the only thing on? Haven't you heard enough of that stuff all day long?" and put my earplugs in so I can get some sleep.

She can tell I'm a little pissed about it. All I really wanted to do was to go to sleep. She turns the TV off and thinks I want to R-talk which I didn't. Anyway after trying to explain I just want to go to sleep she keeps at me to talk about what is bothering me.

She gets me to talk all right. By this time I'm angry and all sorts of stuff spews out.
  • How frustrated I am all of the time.
  • How I seem to be the only one actively working to try o bring us back together.
  • How so much of our life has been wasted.
  • How I don't want to wait to LIVE anymore.
  • How she has no idea what it's like to obsess about sex because that's all I can think of when it never happens.
  • How frustrated and angry I am about trying to find a job right now. (Don't quit your job anyone, it's hell out there.)

It was basically an angry rant about everything that is wrong right now that I feel I have no control over. INSTEAD OF DROPPING THE ROPE I YANKED ON IT REALLY REALLY HARD. I didn't even want to talk, I wanted to sleep. Bad mistake... but can't un-ring that bell now that it's rung.

I'm still going to move out and into my mom's empty house. We need the time apart to figure out where we go from here. I can start getting things done over there that need to be done anyway.

Cinco