Hi Veronica and NW, I am doing all that I can to stay positive and keep myself afloat...I went by the apartment this morning and dropped off my check and got the key...It's such a big switch - the place is so very small compared to where we've lived - but it should be just fine for the times when I am home by myself...Having the park so close by will be wonderful over the summer - and on weekends when the boys just need to run around - we'll just never have to sit around and think about what to do...since we'll always be able to do something over there - from playing soccer to flying a kite or just having them run around on the playground.
So...those thoughts are helping me through a tough morning of emotions - while I was excited about moving on - it also saddened me to think about doing it - and to realize that just last year, at about this time, B and I were so very excited about moving into the house I am now leaving...I'm doing so many of the same things again - from arranging for the rental truck, calling up the utility companies - all the stuff involved in transferring my life from one home to another.
So far the small nibbles I had gotten in terms of work haven't come to much yet - it seems that the poor market is slowing everything down - but I am staying optimistic and continuing to believe that I will come through this okay. I know that I'll be fine through next month - and that I'll soon have a lot more time to dedicate to finding more work and to doing some of the other kind of spec writing required for TV and film...my writing partner and I are supposed to get a meeting with the Disney Channel next week...so...on top of everything else I've got going on, I'm trying to come up with some story ideas that we could pitch to them...and should any of those ideas resonate...we'll then have to dive in and put together a quick sample of what we were talking about...don't know if this is common knowledge - but this business is very, very strange...nothing can happen for weeks and months, and then all of a sudden things can move with the energy of a crisis...it's all very artificial...but it seems like it's a business that feeds off its own drama...
I found a cafe to work in today...at least for a while...and it's helping my mood a lot...I just knew that if I was here I wouldn't just sit around and cry all morning...(which kind of felt like what I might do if I wasn't careful...but it didn't feel like the tears of processing - it felt like they would have been more like the tears of self-pity...and I just don't have time for that kind of nonsense right now...I have so little to pity about myself...sure, I have things to be sad about - lots to be sad about, in fact - but I have nothing to pity about myself or my life...and so I won't allow myself to sink into that space again...it's happened too many times already over the last few months - and self-pity does nothing for one's sense of catharsis or self-worth - it is a poison that empowers the fears in ourselves and allows those fears to convince us of a negative reality that contradicts all the evidence of love and joy and hope in our lives...at least that's how it affects me...). Hm...long parenthetical...should have just made it a paragraph.
So...in the text B sent me last night about missing the call, she mentioned calling me today when she might "have a minute". We shall see...
BTW - as a total aside - anyone out there know anyone looking for a writer? Only partially joking...
