I haven't posted in a while, but I've been reading and keeping up on everyones current events. I hope things go well with commited with his wife's return.
Anyway, I decided before I try a new approach with my H that I would check in with you guys first. So I read DR and I'm now reading DB. I was up to the do a 180 section and liked what Michele said to do opposite to what I've been doing and see what happens. It got me to thinking that since dealing with H and OW all these years, I've been getting angry, making demands for H to stop, and the times we do S (except for this time) I was the one pushing H to come back home and doing all the typical things to make him come him. And like DB says he then does the total opposite and even more of it.
So I was thinking that my 180 should be to encourage H to stay out. To let him know that I think it great that he taking time to figure things out (even though I know its with OW) and that I'm enjoying having the house and time to myself. I was even thinking to tell him that its nice that he wants to be there for OW. Of course, this would definitely be a total 180 instead of fighting against the A. I plan on being happy about all this.
What do you think? Should I give it a try. I know it seems risky to me, but Michele said that 180s are risky. What do you think? Thanks.
Blccccch.
I think the true, DBing "180" with regards to him going out would be to not say ANYTHING -- no nagging, no questioning, no pouting, no pleading. Just GAL and maybe not be there when he comes home, or be less pouty or whatever.
But do NOT tell him "it's great that you're there for OW" -- no way!!!!
In fact, ANY conversation about OW should be off-limits.
