I don't think his father ever said how old they were when he started on them but from what we know, it seems like it started pre-teen for all of them (2 boys, 2 girls). His brother remembers a bit. One sister remembers more and she has some fairly serious emotional issues. My h (the youngest) and the eldest sister remember nothing.
H has always refused to really talk about it and adamantly refused counselling. His stance is "If I can't remember, why risk therapy that makes me remember and causes me issues." "I've dealt with it and moved on." He really hasn't, of course, and I told him the night I told him our marriage was over that he needed to get help to deal with the fact that his mother abandoned him. I knew nothing about MLCs at that time but knew he was running from something. I just wish he hadn't decided to run from me.
I am sorry to hear about your own abuse. The older I get the more shocked I am at the number of victims of childhood sexual abuse. It's just so unimaginable. I grew up with an alcoholic father so I have some idea of what a disfunctional family is, and the damage it causes children, but know that it doesn't get much worse than sexual abuse.
I am taking care of myself, thank you. I go to the gym and I eat a lot because I've lost a lot of weight and was already pretty thin. I've got about 4 pounds to go to get back to my pre-separation weight. Can't sleep past 4:00 a.m. but from what I've read, that appears to be fairly normal. Thinking about taking a night course to keep busy. All my friends are married with children so it's hard to find people to spend time with so I'm mostly alone with the cats.
