I really don't know what to say.......... Here's how things are for me as they sit. The hard truth you could say.
If I had to guess, I would say my H is totally overwhelmed! He doesn't know what to do right now. If he's even thinking of this at all. He may be hoping I'm done. Who really knows, I sure don't anymore. He has said nothing else, and I really don't know what to do now. There is only so much that I can say or ask or do before even I can't anymore. I feel like I'm nagging at this point. Here's a guy who is LOST....... He hasn't a clue. He did apologize if he ever made me feel less of a woman etc....... That he didn't ever intend that, but that's where it sits. WHY? Is what I want to know. But I also want him to want to know WHY!!
Here's the other part of it now. I'm not sure what I want now. I have thought of maybe leaving things alone. I have a good roommate and a father for my kids. Hmmmmmmmmm However I KNOW I will want more eventually.
I'm not even sure I want him sexually anymore. It has been so long that I felt any want from him, I'm not sure I ever want it back. I guess I was hoping that in this, I would feel something. Maybe I would have IF he had followed thru. Because he has not, I feel like I share a home with a brother.
He is home in 6 days. I am DONE with trying. Thats for sure! (today anyway) He will have to come to me, talk, write, whatever OR the next step is just me living my life, and one day I won't be here when he comes home. SCRATCH that, HE will move, not myself and my kids.
You asked what I'd ask him. I think Id ask WHY.......... but a whole lot of WHYS... WHY did it all stop? WHY did I not warrant some kind of explanation? WHY did he not go to the doctor.. WHY was I so insignificant
Then the HOWS HOW did he forget 5 yrs HOW did not care when I cried HOW did he forget the tears and frustration HOW did he manage to not care
