Don't Look Back.......on the Lake Erie Shore!

[Neilh23]

Hey all....

it's been 2 months since i last posted. Wow, has a lot happened!

first, no, my W and I are not back together.....at the same time, right now, it's for the best. i see who she is and how she acts......tha'ts not who i want to be with. i don't think she has any idea about relationships....and the work involved. she just wants the "immediate" gratification. That being said....i still do love her. she's the mother of my children. i will always care for her very deeply. our interactions have been pretty good over the last 2 months. we had a fight, new years eve. I'll admit, i provoked it. i made a promise to myself that if she did something that pissed me off, i would tell her. so i did. it provoked the fight. but things have been different since then. we also have had to spend a good deal of time together the last couple of weeks, as our youngest had her tonsils out, and had some setbacks. Don't worry, she's fine. just stubborn about some things...where'd she get that from, huh? My W always asks about people who used to be our mutual friends, but since the split, have become solely mine. no one talks to her, except, as far as i can tell, the troll. i feel sorta bad, but also realize that this is the bed she's made. now, she's gotta lay in it.

as for me....

i'm doing good. i bought a house....which was a huge turning point for me. this apartment i'm in represents all that went wrong with our relationship, and i felt stuck here. so i bought a house. Will be moving in a week or so.

i've also started to play the field a little bit. been out on some dates..nothing too serious. I have been dating this one particular woman for almost a month and a half. she's divorced, with a child. she GETS it. she's ok with the fact that i still love my w. she understands. she's cool to hang out with...and a lot of fun! Does my W know? IDK....but, honestly, I really don't care.


People have asked me...would you get back together with her if she wanted to? I honestly can say....IDK..and not because of this woman. it's mostly because i finally feel liberated and free and myself. My W stifled me incredibily. I see that now. She said i controlled her. Nope. She controlled me. i see that so plainly now.

here's what i have to say......newbies, look to improve yourself. stop worrying about what your S is doing or who they're doing it with. you can't control them. don't try. you'll move faster if you stop worrying about them, and focus on yourself and improving your flaws. I still have my flaws. I'm very conscienious of them...and i work hard to balance them.

Have patience. That's something i've learned the hard way....

Pray. God always answers prayers. Maybe not always in the way we want, but He does know what's best for us. Trust Him to make it better.

and to my friends....Mules, KJ, suzy, NDS, PDT (i love the new album, BTW), Bill, Forrest, Scookie, Bridge, Sandi, Christarn, Coach, Twindad, and anyone i might've forgotten (I'm SORRY!!!) thanks......you can find me....."over there"