Que Sera, Sera - Whatever Will Be, Will Be

[pearlharbr]

(((lemonsnap)))

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're upset. I completely understand your feelings of despair. Right now the best thing to do is realize that you have to go through the feelings and experience them knowing that it will get better.

I remember feeling that our problems were not insurmountable if xBF would just be wiling to work on them. But you can't force someone else to do or feel anything. If your H isn't ready to do anything right now then I'm afraid MC isn't going to be any help.

Read or reread DB and DR. (I only have DR which is more of a step-by-step plan so I really liked the format.) Remember that MWD says to believe none of what they say and only half of what they do. It's not easy, believe me I know. Concentrate on doing things for yourself: PMA and GAL activities. For me, when I was at the bottom, I talked to my friends on the phone or tried to get out and see movies that I know xBF would never have gone to with me. I also started taking dance classes, something I've wanted to do for 20 years.

Also, read and post to other people's threads. You'll be surprised how similar many of them are to your own. The sitchs may not be the same, but the behaviors and scripts are eerily similar. I know it helped me a lot to realize that what I was going through isn't unique. And seeing other WAS saying the exact same thing that your H is saying may help give you some perspective. Also check out people who are a few months further along to see what's coming down the road. You can always go to someone's thread and ask them to visit here. People tend to be very obliging and supportive when they get to know you.