In this state, if you don't have joint money, and you stop having a physical relationship, you can 'start the clock' - i.e. I can claim my W doesn't get anything from me going back 2.5 years because we stopped ML and she started her own bank account, etc.
Also, I paid off $18,000 in debt in that time period which will all count against her - instead of paying alimony, etc.
I wouldn't hand her the bill when she walks in the door - just put it in with her stuff. Don't make a big deal, don't say anything about it.
It will be hard - I can remember the first time I stopped letting W walk on me. I was sweating bullets - but I was right. I was firm and fair, and I stood my ground - she yelled and blustered, I responded quietly and calmly.
I told her I loved and appreciated her, but the situation was unacceptable.
