Ok people, I believe I'll have to join this club and crown myself Queen of Darkness. I have not seen or talked with my H since AUGUST!
My L sent my counterclaim response in September - then - nothing from H. In December he sent an email which I posted on my thread, asking to get together to "toast Christmas". I ignored it.
In January he sent a more business-like email asking to meet to discuss finances. I answered with "I do not want to see you anymore if you are still involved with someone else. I will not talk with you about a D. If you insist on this path, my L will handle it".
Now today he left a note at the house and I'm contemplating how to answer it, if at all.
I don't know if the darkness has ruined our chances of getting back together. I don't know if it's caused a disconnect that we'll never mend. I don't know if it's helped him to sort out his problems. I don't know if it's helped him to see the OW in a different light or if it's pushed them closer together.
What I DO know is - I'm stronger, I don't cry as much, I'm busy with my own life. I look at his situation as just that, HIS situation. I can now deal with the idea of a D without falling to my knees. I can think clearly about my terms for the D if it comes to that. I am prepared for forgiveness and piecing if it comes to that.
And I've finally figured out that there is nothing I can do or say to convince him to return. It has to be his decision - he has to go through the ring of fire and if he makes it to the other side and he wants to talk about US then, I'll listen and get back to him.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Ok..am I forgiven..S23 told me MIL was still poorly and going into hospital next week. W has NOT told me. So I sent her a txt asking why I hadn't been informed because I still care.
Got a reply..immediatley... "Thanks, she is not too bad, she is going for mores tests that's all. Thanks again for txt. Take Care x."
No more from me and I will now keep in touch with MIL direct.
Ok..am I forgiven..S23 told me MIL was still poorly and going into hospital next week. W has NOT told me. So I sent her a txt asking why I hadn't been informed because I still care and am there to help if needed.
Got a reply..immediatley... "Thanks for that , she is not too bad, she is going for more tests that's all. Thanks again for txt. Take Care x."
No more from me and I will now keep in touch with MIL direct.
You're forgiven. S23 described the sitch to you in a way that made you worry. But do keep in touch with MIL directly from now on!
You may need to start another DA club thread soon, think this one is about to lock.
And if anyone here has some extra time, there is a newbie who needs some support; lemonsnap in Newcomers. Her thread start with "Que Sera Sera..." Being the Doris Day fan I decided I needed to keep up with her.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I'm fairly new to DB and this forum. I just found this thread and found this discussion interesting. First what does DA stand for. I think it has to do with Going Dark but I can't figure out the A.
I also have a question. My W still lives in the same house with me. What type of things can I do to go dark in this situtaion? I won't be actually Dark but more like Dim.
Thanks for any help you can offer.
Me-38 W-44 D8 & D6 together '95, Wed '97, Bomb 11/18/08 Still in same house
