I almost forgot 1 thing she said during our talk. I would like some feedback on what it means, if anything. Can't remember the exact thing she said. It was something like as we work on our friendship she wants to be good enough friends to where when I meet someone I can go to her and tell her about some other girl and ask what do you think. Is she freakin kidding??? I just told her how I felt about the M.
I wanted to circle back on this, Noedphi. I'm not sure how you feel about it, so I don't want to put words into your mouth. But in my sitch, it was very important for me to tell my wife:
"If our marriage ends this way -- with you having an affair, lying about it, and refusing to work whatsoever on our marriage and our issues -- then I have absolutely ZERO INTEREST in being your friend once we're divorced. I'll be civil, and courteous, and we'll work together as good co-parents for the sake of the kids, but I have NO interest in being your friend, much less your BEST friend."
THAT, absolutely stunned her. Most waywards have this fantasy of all of their loved ones -- including their spouse -- all being wonderfully "okay" with their new partner, and everyone living happily ever after. It's very important for them to "normalize" the illicit relationship as quickly as possible to friends and family.
Wasn't going to happen with me.]
Now, if she were to end the affair (as she did), and try to work on the marriage (and she has), but we just weren't able to get past some of our long-term issues (like SSM) and we were eventually to go our separate ways? Then sure, I could see remaining her best friend.
But not if she were cheating on me, and then lying to everyone about it, and refusing to even try.
Not sure how you feel. But IF you feel similarly, I'd strongly encourage you to communicate it to her at some point soon.
