Expose the Affair?

[Still Waters]

"if I were the one having the affair, and I were exposed, and humiliated, I would never go back to the marriage."

And what about if you were the LBS who has been betrayed, deceived, and humiliated by a cheating spouse who refuses to end his or her affair? Would you go back to the marriage then? If so, why? Why would you go back as the victim and not as the exposed perpetrator? Seems a bit off, doesn't it?

Let me put it another way. How can you, on the one hand, say that you'd never go back to the marriage if your spouse told the TRUTH about your deplorable actions in hopes of saving your marriage, and then on the other hand say that you would fight to save your marriage if your spouse committed an act of ultimate betrayal that only served to tear your family apart?