I remember when I first found the boards, in my reading, there was a post by a veteran who talked about 'getting it', detaching, doing things out of one's own will rather than in response to the actions of others, in essence, willfully choosing to act rather than react.
Your quote is in line with the themes of my Tara Brach sudio podcasts I've been listening to. The themes I've been listening to are fear, courage, being present, staying with, defensiveness, reactivity, commitment to presence, letting everything happen, and efforts to control.
I'm sure it's not an accident that I'm drawn to these themes. The patterns of reactivity and defensiveness are normal in that everyone has to learn to break them. It's part of being human.
I think it's more difficult to be couragous in a M, because there is more at stake--loss of an entire lifestyle. I can see how fear generates that type of anticipation and drama in ones' mind.
I have a feeling that my DB strategies are going to involve staying with and moving thru fear. I'm the one in the R, who is better equipped to do this. I'm going to have to change the relational patterns around connection and intimacy.
I'll stay at the drawing board, and let DB guide me in coming up with specific ideas.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
