Another One Bites the Dust (3)

[No Longer BH]

Thanks Gyps for your beautiful words.....they are always uplifting. And Ready, you always come through with hugs when I need them. Cat, I love your direct point of view, you seem to share my anger and that makes me feel like what I am feeling is normal. lwb, my fellow St. Louis friend, thank you for your continuing to check on me and for always being so positive. You all have been such pillars of strength to me.


So, I talked to my L today. We discussed a few different things about what is going on. First, we have all agreed to meet next Wed to try and just settle everything once and for all. OEO has voiced his concern that he doesnt feel that I am truly interested in getting it done because, according to him, I made our last mediation appointment a complete failure. Hmmmm......I thought that a bit odd as he was the one who spent 3 hours doing nothing but arguing about his right to kick me out of the house......whatever. My L knows that I am very motivated at this point to finally get this crap over with.

My L once again addressed that I have not recieved support from OEO. He said that OEO's L seemed truly surprised and said she would definately talk to him and she what she could do. Hopefully she can convience him to give me some money. I have managed to pay the gas bill to keep it on, but dont have enough for any of the other bills. To top it off, I just got my latest statement from L and I have already used up my entire retainer just on this back and forth crap that OEO's L is pulling. Nothing has been filed, nothing has been done and all of my money has been spent! Im just trying to look at it like five years from now, that bill will be paid and I will have gotten the representation that I needed to get a fair settlement.

Final bit of news is that OEO told his L that he would NOT be getting a bonus check this year. He told her that his boss pulled him aside and said that he has been put on probation and if things do not dramatically improve in the next 2 weeks, then he will be let go.........talk about a range of emotions. First, as much as OEO has lied and stolen money from me and his grandmother, I dont believe for one moment that he is NOT going to get a bonus. I truly believe this is just an attempt to hide around 20k from me. But then I swing the other way and think...holy sh!t....what if he does get fired. I mean the man obviously is screwing up everything thing in his life. Is it so hard to believe that getting fired isnt just next on the list of wonderful MLC achievements? So, I sit here and wonder to myself "How can I protect myself from the crap he is pulling? How can I make sure Owen and I are safe if he truly does lose his job?" I have alot of thinking to do and alot of planning to get into place. God, this is just so tiring at times!!!

Other than that, emotionally I am actually doing great. I dont dwell on his shenanegans any more. I just leave it to the univers to handle things. I cant imagine that his life is very fulfilling, especially when I know he is not even connecting to his son. I also know that I am happy. Funny, my life is completely falling apart right now, but for some reason I feel like it is ok. It is like things have to be torn down before they can be rebuilt. Once this rebuilding process is over, my life will be stronger than ever. I'm not even feeling the rage anymore. Just a twitch of anger when something new happens, but then it is gone....I leaving it to the Lawyer gods to determine the course now. (((HUGS))) to everyone one of you beautiful people who have helped me so much.