Don't worry. I wasn't offended and certainly didn't feel like it was an attack against me. While I am inclined, by nature and philosophy of marriage, to defend my wife from all attacks (except my own, of course!) I realize there is some validity to some of the points that you and Corri brought up. We must remember it is difficult to see the whole picture from posts on this forum. Even if you knew us both personally it is impossible to truly see what happens in someone else's relationship.
No doubt there are many factors in this situation that have distorted the romance into a chore.
I plan to move forward as I have begun, taking it one step at a time, for my own sanity. I could not handle the upheaval of what you and Corri are suggesting, at least not right now.
Maybe you'll think I'm foolish for not bailing out right now but there is no way I would risk not seeing my son everyday through his teens. If things have not improved by the time he goes to college (still a handful of years to go) I will move on alone.
Please don't think that I don't want your advice straight as you see it. Your experience is invaluable. I realize that I am likely blinded by love (or blindsided) and my perspective may be way off. It is possible that in 15 yrs I'll be giving the same advice that you are.
I can not take such drastic measures until I am fully prepared to give up and throw the marriage away. I keep holding on to the idea that there is some key element that I am not seeing yet, some discovery to be made that will reveal a way to revive her passion.
I think that she thinks about this quite often but is simply clueless about where the passion has gone and is too stressed with job stuff to consider it a priority. I don't think I can scare her into recognizing the importance of sex and romance in a marriage. She has to be gently brought around, I sort of need to get her to think that she has figured it out on her own, playing to her intellectual side (she's much brainier than I am).
I'm hoping 6 months of therapy by myself will give me some ideas and help clarify what's going on. Gotta get that therapy going soon (switching health insurance, so I've got to wait until that's settled).
Thank you both again for your thoughts, they have not fallen on deaf ears (or blind eyes, I should say)
