Son says OW has not been around since he did the itching powder.
I am not going to jump to any conclusions, but
I hope they both think they have an STD.
I know, I know, not very nice. What can I say, I have my moments.
Thinking of all of you.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Yeah - can you even imagine!! She would be thinking "he cheated" and he is thinkin "your the skank you cheated!!" between the two freaks there is enough moral decay to feed a hmm to feed... feed some seriuos making fun of them here on this board!! how is that??
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Well Well, ex has decided to try to push a button again.
This is my weekend with the kids.
He has decided that he will pick them up and take them to his step-mother's birthday party.
He did not even attempt to get my approval.
He went through my daughter to deliver this news.
XXXHole
He is hopeing I stroke out over this.
Not a chance.
I won't even be around when he picks them up.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Do you really think he is an *&�$hole? If so, why do you want him back? It doesnt sound very loving, or forgiving, nor does advocating letting your son put itching powder in their underwear draw (which no, isnt very nice and possibly a bit vengeful????). I'm a bit confused by yuor stance towards your ex.
I read along and I dont really see your ex doing things to push YOUR buttons, perhaps you just interpret it that way, make it about you when maybe it isnt really? Maybe, he just wants to take his kids to his Mums party? Ok, he's being cowardly by not asking you if that is ok, but seems communications have really broken down between the two of you and thats not good hey. Maybe he's 'scared' of a confrontation?
What can you do to improve that? You need to work on friendship with him, IMHO.
Why wont you be around when he comes to pick them up? Why not be aroind, looking good, smiling and use it as an opportunity to DB him? Have you tried being his friend at least, being the bigger person and wishing him well? Avoiding him and being angry and vengeful is perhaps not the way to win someone back? Although, I'm not sure what it is you are trying to do (win him back? wait for him to 'see the light??'). Just wondered!
I'm a bit confused by yuor stance towards your ex.
ali- her stance has never changed. go back a couple of years..you will see it.
I read your post Ali and i understand what you are asking T... totally get it. But see I see the other side. It is funny you should say "win him back". See what I have learned from divorce busting is that you are too get a life - grow - grow beyond trying to "DO" anything to get them back because you CANT DO anything. It is on them......and while we wait for them to hit bottom (which may take YEARS and I mean YEARS) we move forward. AND IF AND WHEN they do "come back" it is not by anything we did or even didn't do. BUT BECAUSE they do a turn about.
Just a thought.... and sorry the underware thing. Her son is 17 - been expossed to things that he never should have been. AND this board -- it is for our SECRET sharing (hence our code names etc). It is the one place where we are suppose to be safe.
just my thoughts.....
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
I appreciate your input Ali, but you don't understand my sitch.
My ex never sees me angry, never. If I do have to communicate with him, I am always polite.
YES, I THINK HE IS AN [censored].
I THINK ALL THESE ML'ERS ARE ASSHOLES.
They hurt innocent wonderful people.
When something is red, I call it red.
We can want the old, Ml'er back, but we do not have to accept them now, or sugar coat what they have become.
No, I do not want my ex back.....
I want the man he use to be.
No, I am not interpreting his actions wrong. He picks up my children with OW in tow. I will not be a friend to that. Kids have informed me that he is extremely frustrated that he has not seen me in over a month. Oh, too bad. Maybe he needs to get rid of OW first.
I am done pussyfooting around.
He needs to act like a man before he has any communication with me.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
As far as the itching powder goes, it is dam funny.
It is a little small ounce of humor in a totally horrible situation.
I did not advocate for my son to do this, I simply did not tell him not to.
It was his idea.
It was harmless practical joke to a whore of a woman who destroyed his family, his home, and his life.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Well, I am not sure its funny, but you are right, advocate is too strong a word. Perhaps collude. But in terms of you and your sitch and what you hope to achieve.. what is your goal? And how would allowing your son put itching powder in their underwear help you to achieve that goal?
She didnt destroy his family, home and life.. HE did Trusting. Your H did it, he's an adult and HE chose to have an A and leave you. She was just the person he chose to do that with. I dont see that it helps you to be so angry, whether he sees it or not. Can you work on your forgiveness, isnt that what DBing tells us?
Also, if you truly believe he is having an MLC, then he is not an &*$%hole, he's in crisis and as such, do you need to work on your compassion for someone you love, going through a terrible, confusing time in life?
Just go back to the basic principles... DBing says the most important thing is to make sure the way home is 'paved and smooth' - is that the phrase? Are you really ensuring that the way home is paved and smooth?
