DA Club II

[Silver Fox]

Ok people, I believe I'll have to join this club and crown myself Queen of Darkness. I have not seen or talked with my H since AUGUST!

My L sent my counterclaim response in September - then - nothing from H. In December he sent an email which I posted on my thread, asking to get together to "toast Christmas". I ignored it.

In January he sent a more business-like email asking to meet to discuss finances. I answered with "I do not want to see you anymore if you are still involved with someone else. I will not talk with you about a D. If you insist on this path, my L will handle it".

Now today he left a note at the house and I'm contemplating how to answer it, if at all.

I don't know if the darkness has ruined our chances of getting back together. I don't know if it's caused a disconnect that we'll never mend. I don't know if it's helped him to sort out his problems. I don't know if it's helped him to see the OW in a different light or if it's pushed them closer together.

What I DO know is - I'm stronger, I don't cry as much, I'm busy with my own life. I look at his situation as just that, HIS situation. I can now deal with the idea of a D without falling to my knees. I can think clearly about my terms for the D if it comes to that. I am prepared for forgiveness and piecing if it comes to that.

And I've finally figured out that there is nothing I can do or say to convince him to return. It has to be his decision - he has to go through the ring of fire and if he makes it to the other side and he wants to talk about US then, I'll listen and get back to him.