I like Corri's suggestion but instead of saying anything to her why not just plant the seeds by your actions? Do things that will make her wonder if you have taken her up on her offer. Work late, have someone call the house and then hang up, become secretive about your where abouts....you know all those things that happen when someone else is in the picture. See if acting like you might have someone gets a reaction out of her.

I gotta tell you, it's a strange situation AchingMan. I read your stuff and you remind me so much of myself. The depression and anxiety and figuring out how to make it work and at the same time do without something you desire so desperately that it feels like a need. The one thing my ex never did though was suggest I find someone else to take care of my needs. In fact he would have been downright destroyed if I had.

I want to ask you a question that might be hurtful and I'm sorry but have you thought that maybe she has no romantic feelings for you? I find it incomprehensible that someone could suggest that the person they love find that sort of comfort somewhere else. Have you ask her how she would be able to live knowing you were sharing that with another woman? I admire you desire to stay for your child, I think it is the honorable thing to do. The thing I remember about my ex was the level of love and desire I felt for him. I think what played a huge role in those feelings was the fact that is was just out of reach. I was enticed by something I knew I couldn't have. I can look back now....five years later and see that him keeping me at arms length only made me feel I had to work harder to get that prize that was just out of reach. It nearly destroyed me...the hanging on and hoping things would change when nothing would have ever changed at all no matter what I did because he had no romantic feelings for me at all.

I think you have got to figure out is what you are fighting so hard for is really worth the fight you are putting into it. If I had been able to see my marriage then as clearly as I can see it now I would have been able to put focus on what I needed to be happy instead of so much focus on him and him one day giving me what I needed to be happy. You may be looking for something from her that she just does not have to give. I learned that the depression and anxiety I suffered had little to do with his rejection of me but my refusal to accept it for what it was and to let go of a need for a man who could not need me or anyone else. Your emotional well-being seems to be wrapped up in whether or not she will ever desire you at an appropriate level. You should not be investing so much of yourself in the actions of another person. You are giving her too much power in your life. It really isn't worth in the long run. Your little boy would tell you that. He wants his Dad at home with him, he doesn't want his Dad suffering needlessly over the actions of someone else. Find a way to make yourself whole and complete without her, maybe then she will start paying attention.
Cathy