My first thoughts are that the OM did something that caused the sudden move in the middle of the night. So, she goes back into what she thinks will be your loving arms to spite the OM. I would not be too quick nor act eager to have any talk with her for a few days. Tell her that you have to think about all of this since there was no warning and she just showed up on at your front door. Don't get sarcastic, but don't be all cotton candy either.
First of all, I would know exactly what you can live with and what you will not tollerate. What you will not tollerate is what needs to be laid out in terms she can understand completely. She doesn't have to be told what you can live with, but if she has questions, I suppose you can answer, but don't feel that you have to give an answer if you aren't sure. You can always say that you will have to think futher on it or you are not prepared to answer at this time.
There was so much more that I wanted to be able to tell you and maybe we will get around to that yet, but right now, just take it slowly b/c I frankly do not trust her as far as I could throw her. I don't mean to hurt you more than you've been hurt, but I just have a feeling that something is fishy about all of this. She may push for a "full" reconciliation and want to "prove" her love by having sex with you right off the bat, and if she does, it will take will power (maybe) but I would strongly suggest that you do not give in to that! For several reasons, but mainly b/c I don't think it is healthy to jump from one person's bed and go straight to another person's bed. How do you account for true feelings there? Plus, how do you know that she has not picked up some STD? Also, if she is "pushing" this like she wants to seal the deal with a "kiss" (so to speak) then I would be suspicious even more so. She would be acting too desparate and that is a red flag right there. She has made you wait and sweat it out all this time......now let her wait and sweat for a while. Tell her she can stay there but that you won't sleep with her until you have come to some decisions about some things. After all, she was the one who backed out at the last minute the last time she almost moved back. If she starts popping the questions, and she will, just tell her there will be no talking tonight, just give her a place to sleep (like the couch). That should put her humbly in her place! Don't fall for any of her drama or pity stories. Tell her you need to sleep on the idea that she is there. She may be gone by morning, who knows! She is too wishy-washy to trust her to stay. So, I would certainly give it a while before I got too attached again. If you know what I mean. I think she needs to do some proving to you and she should do "work" to win you back. But that is my opinion. I am a tough one.....lol.
I know you don't have much time and may not even get to read this tonight. But, maybe you'll get a sneak-peak. [b]Be sure to erase all your history on the computer of the DB posts.[/b]
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
