Well, this ain’t much of an update because not much has changed. When I got back from this last trip, after enjoying a nice dinner and converstaion together, I gently asked if she felt like making love (we hadn’t seen each other for a week). She just ignored the question. I felt like a total schmuck. It made me so sad that I couldn’t hear anything else she said after that. I’m fine when I’m away on business and depressed when I’m home. I hate feeling this way.
Even though the sadness of rejection is sharper than ever I feel so in love with her and I am committed to staying for our family’s sake. I don’t know if things will ever get better. I am a sick sick bastard letting myself be tortured this way.
No ideas about how to survive this but I must find a way,
