Dianes Roller Coaster Ride continued... lol

[Jayce]

MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm, been thinkin' about you and your choices, possible ultimatums, etc. You don't really want to leave, do you? That's a huge step. Into the big unknown. Very understandable.

Did you ever make a list of plusses & minuses? Or lists. Good & bad things about H. Good & bad things about being married to him. Good & bad things about being on your own including effects on the kids?

If you had only one question to ask him, what would it be? Or only one thing you could change? Whatever that one question is, ask it. Answer is "I don't know?" Tell him to figure it out & keep asking every day until he does. Every day.

Our one issue is having SSM because of LD spouses. We want more frequency. That simple request balloons into so many more issues that are equally puzzling & hard/impossible to fix that we lose track of that one important thing we went after. My boss used to say "When you're up to your ass in alligators, try to remember the objective was to drain the swamp."

Even tho I did so much research, read so many books, got him medical attention, and in general found more things to worry about than I could stand, it was still just the one thing. I need a consistently frequent sex life. From you, dear H. A clear statement. Not a question. Ball in his court. Until he makes excuses or refuses to do it or discuss it, there are no questions to ask. So its 'Just Do It". Its up to you, H, to figure yourself out, but in the meantime, Just Do It. If you can get up & go to work everyday, brush your teeth after every meal, fill the gas tank, walk the dog and all the other necesssaries in life, you can do this, too.

Life is too short to spend this much time dealing with and agonizing over an essential requirement in a committed relationship. Libido or no libido, what do these guys not get about that? Siiiiighhh..... We miss out on so much fun.

Anyway, keep that one goal in mind and stay on track. It's the only thing that's important.
J