Not sure what to say about your H's snippiness, but I think this is common. I know I used to feel very frustrated when I knew my W was upset about something and I wanted to comfort her but didn't understand it when she needed space instead. She dealt with some things differently than me and I didn't quite understand that - I think MWD talks about that in the early pages of DB. Anyway, I always used to "read" it as rejection. Not that that helps, but might give you insight. I'd think that'll take time and understanding on both your parts given what's gone before - there's a lot of baggage now from the past year.
Not saying you should 'let him' - just saying it's something going on.
I think you need to learn more patience. "Very much still being considered" is an extremely good sign. Sometimes institutions don't move very quickly. The job search underway for my co-worker is now entering its 4th month.
Frustrated with technology? Ahh, welcome to teaching experience! And students ALWAYS are loudly expressing their displeasure, so ...
go do something to take out the frustration - I always go do something that'll make me sweat. It helps.
And students ALWAYS are loudly expressing their displeasure, so ...