Innocent

[Jayce]

Hey, Cinco-

Been following your roller coaster. You are probably right about being Mr. Nice Guy and if you take that a couple more steps you move on to the asking and waiting instead of telling. As in "We are ML tonite, so don't get into any long TV movies". or, "Let's hit the rack early so we can fool around." or, "I got us this bottle of great wine to take to bed with us tonite." About that bedroom TV, does it have a DVD player? pop some soft (or not) porn in to go w/the wine. There are selections geared more to what women like to see than men).

I'm not saying eliminate whatever pleasantness you do during the day/evening that amounts to early foreplay. You don't have to go into cave man mode, but be forthright, confident...she's showering B4 bed? Strip & join her. Happily, lovingly, playfully, whatever you're comfortable with and see it through. Don't be put off by whatever excuses come your way. Make it worth her while, of course, but don't quit, beg, be bummed if she demurs... insist. One of the coolest books I read (Obviously written for you guys, but I read it anyway) is Hold on to Your N.U.T.s*. Probably available at the library. Not long, nor heavy going, an easy read. 200 pages. Do it. Now. It will clear your head. No more going around in circles a hundred times. It is about having Non-negotiable Unalterable Terms.

I'm sure it will make sense to you and be a clear, orderly plan that will be much easier to work with than all of our well-meaning scattershot comments, observations and advice. It doesn't just advise, it tells you HOW to put it into pratice. Helps you to clear out all the mental clutter and pessimistic self-talk. A clear path instead of trying this, trying that, going back to...whatever. As they say, insanity is doing the same things over & over & expecting different results.

So off to the library first thing Thurs. & make the time to read it straight thru befor the weekend's over. Let me know what you think about the plan.
Jayce