I’ve been reading other people’s posts but haven’t had much to contribute.
I was doing pretty good for a week. The last week has been tough, though. I’m just so fragile right now, easily sent into a tailspin.
The Paxil hasn’t kicked in yet, I don’t think. The idea of taking it at first gave me a boost but as I realize no matter how good I feel about myself or happy go lucky I become, my wife may simply no longer capable of romance, of feeling any passion. This realization is a sobering one. She has made it clear to me that is her position. There is always some stress, some problem, some reason why she can’t get closer. I haven’t even kissed her lips in like 6 weeks. I need her so bad.
The kid went to his uncle’s house over the weekend, which left us alone in the house, free to enjoy each other. Well, we had a nice evening but could go no further. When I caress her she gets kinda jumpy after a few strokes. It’s like my touch is repulsive.
I'll let you know when your harpin becomes naggin, until then no worries
I've found a therapist that specializes in relationship issues but haven't gotten an appointment yet. I'm going away for a week so I'll see the therapist when I get back. Been reading that Murphy book slowly. Not too comfortable about what he's saying, although I'm keeping as much of an open mind as I can. It's like really religious and really new agey mixed together into a convenient new fast food religion. sorry if that offends you or seems too cynical. Just been through the ringer before. I am getting the point that you need to keep a positive frame of mind to keep positivity in your life but whether you can heal yourself or get rich just by believing that you can is way out there, sorry. That's where George Lucas got "The Force".
Saw the Matrix2, it was pretty funny.
AchingMan
"The are some days when you just need to get laid" (quote from friend)
I have been reading your thread. Sorry to hear you are not getting better quickly but hang in there. The only thing I know about Murphy is his law: anything that can go wrong will!
One book that I found helpful apart from the SSM is Resurrecting Sex by Dr David Scharch. It has some good chapters about how to change things even if your partner is not being helpful which seem relevent to you. I don't know if it was you who said you didn't think your W would like you reading these types of books but my tip is to put a paper jacket from another book over them. It's sneaky but you can sit right there reading it and they are none the wiser!
It's been awhile since I've had time to check the boards. Sorry to hear that things aren't showing any significant improvement. I'm afraid you're finding with the Paxil what I found with my treatment; the side effect only effects the physical component of the hunger for intimacy, and at this point that isn't enough to make a major change in the pain. If it goes on with really NO impact, though, get back with your doctor and try something else. When it comes to these classes of medications there's as much art as science in finding which one works best for which person; we tried three or four on our one son before we found one that helped at all. Hang in there!
HERE is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin...sometimes he feels that there really is another way [of coming downstairs], if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.
Just wanted to say hi to everyone. I have been travelling for work so much lately that I'm more there than here. Don't think it's that I don't care about y'all anymore.
I've been checking up on some of the posts here to keep up with "The Club" but haven't had either the time or the news to post much.
I've got to go away for yet another trip this week but I'll try to give a more updated post when I get back.
Well, this ain’t much of an update because not much has changed. When I got back from this last trip, after enjoying a nice dinner and converstaion together, I gently asked if she felt like making love (we hadn’t seen each other for a week). She just ignored the question. I felt like a total schmuck. It made me so sad that I couldn’t hear anything else she said after that. I’m fine when I’m away on business and depressed when I’m home. I hate feeling this way.
Even though the sadness of rejection is sharper than ever I feel so in love with her and I am committed to staying for our family’s sake. I don’t know if things will ever get better. I am a sick sick bastard letting myself be tortured this way.
No ideas about how to survive this but I must find a way,
I am honored by your presence, O' Butt-Kickin One.
I've spent more time in other states on business lately that I haven't been able to secure the counselor thing. I'm not as comfortable with the stabbing at the yellow pages approach to picking a counselor. I am serious about finding one, however, and will do it soon.
I did have a check-in with the doc recently regarding my Paxil intake and he recommends continuing. Seems to be smoothing out the ups and downs. It would be nice if it jsut cut out most of the lows and left the highs but I'll settle with feeling less anxiety. Doc did say that there were plenty of things that he could help my wife to regain her sex drive...the catch is that she has to seek the help (always the sticky catch!) Oh well. Maybe this is penitance for my next reincarnation.
I think its been a couple weeks since my wife last suggested that another woman would be more satisfying for me and that it would be ok with her if I had someone to help me with my "needs". I know she is sincere when she says this (she never says it in anger) and truly believes that she would be fine with it BUT I know her better than she knows herself and I know that it would screw up our relationship.
She really is an pseudo open mind wannabe. I'm not ready to risk our family to start such alternative therapies. I still think it's bizarre that she would rather have me find sex somewhere else than with her. I know that she would prefer that I would only want sex with her every 3-6 months or something. If we agreed to strictly only have sex that infrequently I know she would be very happy and enjoy it just fine. OUCH! I just can't handle that (although I guess I only have the choice of taking whatever she is willing to hand out--no choice really)
Man, I really could use a good lovemaking session! I'm getting really hungry!:p
but I really think it would do you a WORLD of good.
