just got slightly caught up enuf w/ U sis to see that you are doin a bit worse than me (tongue in cheekism). ha ha. I am cruel I know.
Be fully and completely guided by the Lord. You know how. Your countless rewards lie with Him. He can and does relieve you of all that you truly need relief from. And for now I suppose H is a part of that plan. Surrender all my dear.
Seek refuge in the Lord and be renewed and strengthened beyond measure.