Now I see where the "controlling" perception came from. I need to turn it off at home (unless the house is on fire) and use it only at work. This way my wife can feel empowered to help with the decision-making, something that has probably been missing for quite some time. We have some decisions to make pretty soon about finances and other stuff, and that would be a good time to deploy my new knowledge, and let her really get involved in the planning. She often relinquished decision-making to me, as though she didn't really care about things, but maybe she did...
Or maybe she didn't. Maybe she's just re-writing marital history, to justify her own waywardness? It is, after all, very, very, VERY common with WASs. And you yourself said you'd never heard any complaints before.
