Speaking only for myself, you weren't trodding too hard, and I was trying to answer with a sense of irony. Surprisingly, I actually was laughing as I read through your post; I'm not sure that would always be my reaction, but that's just the way it struck me.
Quote: As for you, it sounds to me as though you are facing multiple issues on multiple levels. And it sounds as though you're wife is dealing with so many of them, you're having a hard time knowing where to begin.
Amen to that. What makes it worse is that her responses tend to fluctuate, so what might be a "safe" subject on one occasion draws "the evil eye" (or worse) the next time it comes up. Also, since we don't seem to be able to get our expectations sync'd up, I can proceed for a considerable time on a path I think is working well, and then some little thing will be a "last straw" and I'll find out I've been on the wrong road the whole time and the resentment of my "error" has finally broken through the dam. Part of that is that she really lets fly at that point, and while she generally apologizes a day or two later, and I do think her apology is sincere, she has said some things so caustic that they leave permanent scars.
This past year has been a particularly stressful one for our entire family. Certainly a fair part of the blame for that falls on me and my sub-par time management skills. Not as an excuse, but as a contributing factor, a little over a year ago I had myself checked for Attention Deficit Disorder -- both our oldest and youngest children have it and are being treated -- and sure enough they got it from Dad. Our oldest son is also depressed, and our middle son is suffering from an anxiety disorder, so you can tell that it can get rather interesting around here at times.
Getting back to the ADD, part of the problem is that once I started treatment, I was able to focus better; in fact, I often had difficulty un-focusing. And guess what I couldn't un-focus on? Yep, you guessed it. In fact, that's the reason I started on some low-dose SSRI, to help with that particular "side-effect" of the ADD meds.
This also leads back to the therapy question. To address that, we were getting family counseling for a time -- mainly for our "anxious" son, but they believe in a whole-family approach -- and that did help some with the overall family dynamic. But that ended about a year ago for a variety of reasons. I have dealt in some small ways with the psychiatrist our son sees, as he also does my ADD meds along with our son. Part of that is a built-in excuse to have to go see him. But not formal therapy for just for myself, at least not yet. That's in book territory, and I need to re-read SSM here in the near future, as well as get through the DR book. Then I guess we'll see.
Well, I'm online now because I came home early to take my daughter to the Dr. for her med check before school starts and it's time to go. Thanks.
P.S. AM, I don't mean to hog "your" thread. I hope this is helpful for you as well.
HERE is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin...sometimes he feels that there really is another way [of coming downstairs], if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.
