You don't have to retreat...I'm just leaving a bread trail for the man...
Yes, I am blunt as a butter knife. I try not to be...sorry if I trod a little too heavy.
I'm not real sure what AM's story is because he keeps talking about his wife, so I'm trying to get him to open up about himself. He's so worried about her, I'm having a hard time getting a bead on the man.
As for you, it sounds to me as though you are facing multiple issues on multiple levels. And it sounds as though you're wife is dealing with so many of them, you're having a hard time knowing where to begin.
You have made the decision to be committed to your marriage. That's fantastic, and it's a real hard one to come to grips with, because it always lurks in the back of our minds when we hit the rough road.
If your wife cannot or will not go to therapy, I personally think you should go by yourself. I really think you need someone in your corner who can help you understand the multiple complexities you are facing. If you continue to try and 'help' your wife (and I know you are doing it because you love her), you are going to push her deeper into depression. Sometimes, I feel the most loving thing we can do for those we love, is to leave them alone for a bit. It's tough to do. It is so easy to see the road someone else is on when you've got an arial view of it....as you do. But she doesn't have the view you do...and it sounds as though she is just damn weary. Let her rest for a time.
Please find a shrink, if you aren't in counseling already (are you?). If you've been before, go back, or find a new one. It will give you something to do.
It sounds as though your batteries need to be recharged as well. But because you are dealing with some serious issues just beyound a lack of sex in your marriage, I think the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to find expert help.
