Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Hey brother,

More energy, that's an understatement. I feel absolutely great. I never thought I'd like being out of that town, but now that I am, I don't know where to start by saying how much of a relief it is. Funny enough, I so far still shop at the grocery store there and what not, and drive through it on my way to work as it is the fastest route.

But the simple fact of being miles away from there feels so good. Everybody at work has taken notice of a big change in how I feel.

Then there's the flip side of the coin, with life starting to pan out and the fog over a new road starting to lift, I have dreampt of her now every night. Just us having peaceful conversations and whatnot. The one I had last night was of us in court and we both looked at each other's notes and they were virtually in identical format and we both laughed and hugged about it, right there at the stand and pissed the judge and attorneys off.

It just makes me wonder, was she really telling some sort of the truth of how she felt about me? Was all the crying at the last hearing for the realization of what is about to happen? Why the conern over what I wrote? With these odd displays, will she really go through with it?

Reality is, the opportunity to turn this around is getting narrower and narrower. And you may be right, she may very well had been telling the truth at new years in fears I may actually leave. And now, she may actually be scared of the fact, I'm out of the house, it's no longer 'ours' and I no longer have a tie to her family. And, lastly, that now I'm free of that house, it's a major step toward independence of the marriage she claims to no longer want.

Anyway, I'm really hoping to see my kids tonight. Got S12 a few video games and what not for his birthday that i couldn't even see him on. For some odd reason, I expect her to make contact today, versus me having to go through the attorneys to arrange dinner with them.