STATUS: Been DB'ing for two months, after a year of doing everything WRONG, post-ILYBNILWU bomb mid-December, 2007. The DB'ing is working, successfully. We've gone from misery (his, therefore, mine...) to really GREAT friend status. No issues, really at all. However, he still has intimacy walls up. (moves a little farther away if I invade his personal space, won't initiate an ILY, but did tell me on our anniversary last month, sleeps next to me, but never gets near me, does things as a family, but doesn't initiate much beyond in house activities alone, etc...) The last two weeks I will say, I have noticed he's looked at me differently when he thinks I look nice. He said something once, but didn't the other times, but was a different look...
I keep thinking about trying something new. But, I'm stuck. He doesn't really complain about what I do/act like much at all. Originally, he had issues because I was stuck in Mom Mode. I've corrected that, make sure I'm always looking and smelling nice, have changed my undergarments and slyly made sure he would see them, etc... I've completely stopped pressuring him. This has gotten us the most forward movement. His only major complaint with me was that I badgered him into vacations, homes, lifestyle choices, etc... and he gave in just to shut me up. I haven't done it AT ALL.
I've been OK since I started DB'ing because I was making great progress, daily. I had goals. I did the 180's. I tried new things. But, I'm stuck. I'd like ideas to up the intimacy level. I have the book The Love Dare, and I've done some of that. I've read part of Passionate Marriage, but that doesn't appear appropriate now, since one of us has zero passion.
Ideas?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
