I always used to think that I contributed a lot to the arguments between W and I, and she even used to say that whenever things were going well between us it was me who alway used to spoil things by upsetting her. But now as I take a back seat in these things and observe W's behaviour I can see that she really goes out of her way to either cause an argument or sustain one. I mean on this occasion when W told me to f**k off it was because I asked her directly why she was deliberately causing an argument when there wasn't one there. Also I now know when W is losing an argument or doesn't have a valid point she resorts to cursing as a way to deflect away from the pointless situation.
You say that I am big on patient and self control, well the truth of the matter is now having got this far if I was offered an unconditional out, I'd probably take it. But, a lot of people here on this board would give a lot to be in position I am so I have to continue along the lines of giving it my best shot.
I can see over the last couple of years that I have changed a lot but W hasn't , and I doubt she ever will and that is a big obsticle for our situation . So as we muddle through at the moment who knows what our long term future will be. ( I mean at some stage my patience may run out).
Lanzo
Lan, you don't need to do anything because other people would love to be in your shoes. You must never base you decisions on others in that way, you've got to do what is right for Lan's happiness.
The F off situation, been there, seen that, left it behind myself. Not sure how you handle the silence since without returning to doormat, be good if some people could offer something on what to do with that. People ??? Could you break the ice with a short letter as it may be there was something on her mind, but your questioning like that didn't work (Venus and Mars thing). Maybe it could of been. Look, if there is something you like to speak to me about, please do so, but I do not feel there is a need here for an argument. I'm all ear and here for you when your ready and then maybe leave it. Not sure that's right or wrong or whatever, just a different take on it.
