A Cry for Help & Don't know where to go

[SRTTF]

I am having a hard day. I want to txt H and tell him how much I miss him. I want to txt OW and reminder her that I will not give up. It honestly drives me nuts that I have absolutely no idea what he is doing? How he is doing? Does he think about us at all? I was going to call our old pastor tonight but time got away. I am waiting for a day off during the week so I can go to the county and get help.

How can he just walk away like this and not show one ounce of anything. I ran into one of the guys from the fire dept today and he said how sorry he was to hear that H hasn't contacted us yet. He also said that he used to love seeing us together because we always looked like we truely enjoyed eachother and we looked so much in love.

Thing is that is what it really was like. When will it sink in to him? I hurt every night when I go to bed not having him by my side. During the day I guess I do ok. I try to laugh and I always try to play and have fun with D. It is just so hard.

I WANT HIM BACK..... I HONESTLY DO NOT FEEL WHOLE WITHOUT HIM IN MY LIFE.