Back in a bad place (from a former DB regular)

[newnamenewlife]

Hi,
I haven't posted here in ages. When I was going through separating from my H (he moved out 7 months ago), the MLC boards were my absolute savior. Then H moved out and my life started to improve. The stress of living with him for all those months when I knew he wanted out lifted, and in the fall I started dating someone--which was an incredibly affirming and wonderful rebound fling that I do not regret at all--but this guy is not someone I could really have a relationship with, so I ended things with him.

Anyway, recently I found out that my H has a girlfriend--turns out it's someone he's known for a while (surprise!). He INSISTS he was not having an affair with her while we were still living together--and it almost doesn't matter.

What is KILLING me is that he seems to be very serious about her. They went away for a week together, our kids know about her (though have not met her and don't want to).

Probably, I would feel better about his new love affair if I had one of my own--but right now, I'm feeling awful--certain that I will never find real love again, certain that H has, quickly and effortlessly. I'm just a mess again--hurt, angry, crying all the time. I had come SO far, had healed so much and now this is just completely taking me down.

I am not standing for my M anymore--haven't been in that frame of mind since H moved out in June--so my goal is not to get him back. Still, I am feeling so threatened by this OW, so consumed with anger and hurt and jealousy that it's just awful.

Thanks for reading. It helps to get it out and to know these boards are still here.

LMG