First welcome to DB. I know it takes alot to come here and admit that you made mistakes. I appreciate that. It is good that you understand how much you hurt your W.
Right now it sounds as if your W needs to time to process everything that is happening. You may have to face that it is too late, but right now focus on you. Here at DB we have a phrase, believe nothing you hear and half of what they do. We weigh changes by actions and not by words.
If you love your wife as you say you do, I would listen to her. She is asking for you to back off. Give her space. Think how you felt when she was always asking you to come home, to stop the affair. It might have pushed you further away. You are doing this to her now.
Focus on becoming the best person that you can be. What things do you need to change within yourself to become that person? I will be honest, it will take a lot of hard work, but if you really love her, you need to do it.
