"So far what I've learned is...... My H is really good at being cold. My H is really good at cutting himself off from me emotionally. My H is very stubborn and hasn't shown any signs of letting up. My H doesn't want to do anything that isn't good for him.
And no, I don't like any of it. lol "
One thing I have learned.. and seen.. in my travels around this place.. is people usually don't "see" that what their S looks like now.. is usually a very good image.. of how the WA/Spouce "sees" you.
Remember.. R are somewhat tit for tat. You do "something" that "emotes" a response.
Example...
"My H is really good at cutting himself off from me emotionally."
My very first thought on this is that very likely.. you are being too emotional. I gather that thought.. from your posts.. and the way they are worded. Listen.. I will be the first one to say.. I was "Crazy" when I was walking in your shoes. It took a while for me to settle down.. (some may say I never did). But the key.. is seeing the big picture.
"My H is really good at being cold."
What if he see's you as "uninviting"? We all are very "uninviting" when we go thru this.
"My H is very stubborn and hasn't shown any signs of letting up."
You very likely are too. "Stubborn" in the fact.. you don't like what he is doing to you. You have the same "emotions" they are just tied to 2 way different events.
"My H doesn't want to do anything that isn't good for him."
What about you?
What would you do.. if tomorrow.. he came back. Never said I am Sorry. Never said he missed you. Never said.. I love you. What then? Do you really think.. for a second.. you are ready for him to just "come back home"? I am here to tell you.. right here.. right now.. this is the easy part. You could have never have convinced me of that.. back then.
Fix the issues you have.. look at you.. and what you can change. Then if the time comes.. you can work on him. Until he makes that choice on his own.. focus on you. The day he dropped the bomb.. your R changed. It should not.. and will not ever be the same. Build "something" new.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
