Hi PM, I really have not saved up spit, so don't worry about one of my looong posts to you. Just mainly wanted to stop in and see how things were going. I am not here to judge your techniques but it does bother me when I see a person who I feel is being emotionally blackmailed. I have personally known people that get their way by getting mad, not speaking, whatever they know will make the OP feel bad enough not to replay whatever it was that they didn't like. For an example, when you went dark, when you threaten to expose the A, when you even leave him alone with the kids while you have a chance to do something else. I see that as more than controlling and selfish. Not knowing him, it makes him sound like a very selfish person and to the point that he doesn't even want to be alone with his own children. That blows me away!
Well, I hope for your sake that you know what you are doing b/c he certainly has everything going "his way". You are a much better person than I ever could be to sit at home and allow him to have his affair while he keeps you under his thumb. He has the best of both worlds. But, if you think waiting it out and hoping that the man you M shows up some day ready to come back home.....I hope it happens, however, you know yourself by reading the MLC forum that it could be years and it still may never happen. I know you want to do almost anything to have peace, but you have to ask yourself if you are happy, sweetie. You do deserve happiness. I'm not telling you to run file for a D. Not at all. Just want you to not be a doormat for him and to feel good about yourself and to be happy. If you are, then that is good enough for me.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
