Hey, TxMom, we all get those days. Some days I love my H and want him back, the next I am filled with venom and want him out of my life. It's frustrating to go back and forth, I guess that's what they mean by roller coaster. I know you have your hands full with work and the girls, but can you fit in more exercise to keep your endorphins flowing? I know tennis has helped me quit a lot. How about a counsellor, anyone else you can talk to in order to get things off your chest?
Don't think he is not having any pain. He is having tons of pain, he is just trying to escape the pain with Ow, rather than dealing with it. Don't worry, it will catch up to him one day. You, on the other hand, is dealing with it now so you won't have any baggage in the future. If you decide to move onto another R in the future, you would be free to do so, an understanding of yourself and a strong mind and spirit. Your H, on the other hand, would be ridden with guilt, doom himself to escape any problems and just repeat the same patterns with new OW's if he doesn't look inward to solve these issues.
You can't control how he lives his life, it's time for you to put yourself first. Take care.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
