CL, My only suggestion would be to take the quiz in the 5LL. Even if you don't read the book make a copy of the quiz--one for you, one for your wife. It just seems like the things that you are doing aren't what is most important to your wife. The kind, helpful things you are doing SHOULD be making your marriage better, I know. At this point they are not making the difference.
I've been talking more about my personal experience lately, but it does seem similar. I always cooked for my H, took care of my daughter, put cards/presents in his suitcase when he was going on a trip, took his mom shopping, gave him a lot of fredom to pursue his hobby (that darn drum corps that started his affair!). You know what mattered to him? A spotles house! I could never measure up! I said so many times that my good heart should be more important than my lousy housekeeping skills. It wasn't. I never really "got it" according to him. By not having a spotless house I didn't "respect his wishes".....or something like that.
The itimacy issue keeps popping up for you. Your wife expects you to fill that role....no matter how she behaves. She does not want to admit that her behavior has an affect on your desire to be intimate. You have even started counseling.....but she doesn't even seem to appreciate that effort you've made.
Would she read Mars/Venus? Five Love Languages? The book you ordered? I know she said she wanted her space. What if you left a book out for her to "find" without even telling her you wanted her to read it.
What if you went dark? (is that the correct term? It's been awhile since I read DB) What if you weren't available to help her with HER cooking job? What if you weren't home when she returned from her dancing Wed night (or would that be a night she sleeps elsewhere???)
I am proud of you for your GALing! I am sorry to be so long winded and opinionated....I just wish your wife would particpate in making your marriage work instead of being so negative about you.
