IMO - check into doing your refi in both names, then buy the place for W and kids in both names, get your D, then do a quit claim deed to each other, and you'll probably eventually refinance seperately.
Can I back up to the posts about the kids and what's right or wrong or best or worst? beep beep beep.... When my mom told us kids that she was divorcing our 'dad' I think I felt relief. I thought finally. I was less than 10 years old.
Even though we are all here due to similar sitchs, each one of us still has our own sitch and each has a different twist, a different style, a different feeling. Some stories here are gut wrenching to read about how the kids are emotional and get torn apart between the parents. Other kids seem to fly thru hardly scathed. Since you've made the decision to D, the best you can do is to be sure your kids feel loved and wanted. 2 cents, throw me the change if you want.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
