ok, it is natural for us to backpedal and loose our temper from time to time, so do not beat yourself up about it.
So now, you will want to try REALLY hard on working on yourself and maybe re-evaluate your 180's. Trust me, I have lost my temper on my H quite a few times, especially when one day he is telling me he sometimes thinks he might want to work it out, and then the next he is so impatient about getting a D and making plans for the D. Make a conscious effort to remain calm when you talk to him even though I know it is extremely hard. It also might help to get into a positive thinking mindset. I know that is hard, but its what I do and it has helped me tremendously. If you are constantly thinking "this is never going to work out" or "I should just give up because there is no hope" (along those lines)then that is what will happen.
I had to try out different approaches with my H until I got comfortable with my results and that is where I am at now. Just to share with you: I stopped fighting with my H on D things. I listen to all of his suggestions on splitting things up and let him get it all out about how much he wants a D. I've had to bite my tongue over and over... The normal me would be to get all upset about it but now, I just agree with him. Let me tell you, ever since I stopped giving him a hard time and acted like I just didnt care, is when he started wanting to come back around and stuff. we are by no means reconciling, but sometimes its all about finding the right approach. This took me getting out a piece of paper and pen, and wrote down all the things I had been doing up to this point that werent working and did the opposite. Im really doing it for myself, and I think it will benefit you too.
