PART 2: (Told you this was long. that's what I get for not posting for 2+ months.)

OK, so then he called on the 26th, and I asked why he hadn't come over. He said he thought it was clear that he wasn't coming. He showed up that evening, and I was in a bad mood. Obviously my expectations were pushing me--never a good thing. I actually got teary for no good reason, which made me madder. He said I needed to be "tempered" and made us margaritas. I told him to open his presents so I didn't have to look at them anymore, and he seemed to like them--nothing big, but thoughtful: abook, a wooden toy, and a set of DVDs--Ken Burns's "Baseball" series from PBS. He also asked if he could leave the gifts here--he's never aksed before. (They are still here, but that's par for the course. He rarely takes anything with him that I give him, with few exceptions. Just a couple of weeks ago, he finally took the DVDs--and only because I insisted. He was taking them to his place one at a time, which I thought was silly. He's watched almost all of them over this long weekend and loves them.) I apologized later for being bitchy, and he was very sweet about it. Then I told him to explain why I needed tempering, and he said he couldn't because I'd already apologized.

So, he spent a lot of time here from 12/16-12/27, but then he dropped out of sight again. There were lots of positives, and I found it frustrating that we could have to much fun together and the he would disappear entirely. It's hard to stay detached under those circumstances. I was also concerned because he was relly irresponsible with money during that time--he wants to generous and to be perceived as generous, but he lets money slip through his hand like sand, and he doesn't control his impulses to spend. Then he feels guilty but it's too late by then. This is not a new problem for him, but the MLC makes it worse.

My resolutions for the new year: let go of the past and embrace the present, which includes GAL. I've done a great job of that, I must say!

The most current news is that H's mom got very sick quite sudenly and almost died. He flew home at the end of January to be with her and stayed about a week. He is distraught. She is home and recovering, but it isn't a quick process, and he keeps saying that he might leave again at any minute. Both his parents relied on him heavily while he was there, and he says that they just want him to be there. He felt like they finally were listening to what he had to say and respected him for the first time maybe ever. I just A and V and tell him that if he needs to go, he'll go. This has curbed his spending somewhat.

I saw Virago, my tarot reader, about MIL's illness, and she said that she would be fine but would have a slow recovery. She also said that this will snap H out of his MLC pity party and make him realize how important family is, including me. That would be nice!

Finally, he spent a lot of the 14th here with me--usually he avoids me completely on Valentine's Day. In fact, this is our midwinter break (a 4-day weekend) and he's been here every day except today, which isn't over yet. He arrived last night about 20 minutes before I had to leave for choir rehearsal, and then he hung out here for a while. He cleared the computer history, which is suspicious, but there's nothing I can do about that.

My current concerns:

* H won't decide if he wants to file taxes jointly or separately. This is only an issue because he put in a change of address with the school district in Septmeber, and now he has his W2. He told me that if I'm ready to just go ahead--in other words, I get to make the decision and he gets to escape responsibility. I'm giving him a little more time, but it's annoying. I don't want to get stuck later down the road if he just doesn't file--and if he felt like it was too much of pain, he wouldn't. I will be so happy when he grows up!
* Also, I confirmed that I have uterine fibroids again. \:\( I go in for the consult tomorrow. My doctor died in the fall, so I have no connection with anyone there, but I know what to expect. It sucks, but that's the way it goes, I guess. I plan on arguing to maintain my fertility. H has been really supportive of me about al this, including the fertility question.

* He turns 40 on Saturday, and I turn 40 the following Sunday. That should be interesting.

Ok, now you know everything about my life up till..now. No, now. No, NOW!

Be well, friends. Let me know what you think about all this.

amd