WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

Trust me. Hope is not all you have. Time is what you have.

I admit that the separation is a tricky thing, but it may be the shock she needs to jolt her out of her funk just like you did with yours. Plus she can't keep putting the blame on you as to how miserable her life is.

Again, the separation does not mean D. And besides both of you will be doing things together with your kids, so it's not like you're never to see her. Give her some real alone time. Let her miss you.

Right now, I just see your M slowly slipping deeper and deeper because it's obvious she's getting colder and colder. You have to do something drastic before her temperament freezes over and you don't have anything left.

I don't feel that time is on my side as the divorce clock is ticking and there is about 98 weeks before it becomes final.

The kids is another factor that I have to deal with - it will be hard on my 2 and 6 year old.

I have gotten the sense that you have picked up as well - she's slipping deeper and deeper. I know I have to do something radical. I was hoping the break through we made in counseling, the diagnosis of my depression and the reassurance by the counselor that this is the real me, could be a shock.

One thing that had changed last nite when we were talking in bed, before she said it make her feel ackward/uncomfortable when I touched her at all when we were in bed. Last nite she said she was ok when I touched her back, hair or if I was giving her a full body massage. Who knows, probably means nothing, which is why I'm not going to overanalyze it.

Perhaps the custody hearing and having a custody agreement is the shock she will need.

Either way, I know the right thing to do is to come to a reasonable agreement. If she leaves right away, then so be it. I won't help her leave, but I won't ask her to stay. I will continue to work on me and will continue to be the best person (whether as just a father or as a husband and a father) I can be, regardless of the circumstances.

I must remain strong and appreciate everyone's encouragement and wisdom.