Being content for now.

[kissak]

I told my H today that my main concern for letting him come home is that I want to trust him, but not sure if I can or will. I want to, but the thing is that he may perfectly well be doing what he says, well, what if I dont believe him simply because? Thats what Im afraid of. I dont want to get into arguments because of just not believing him. He told me he understood and that he wanted me to trust him, but that if I didnt think I would be able to I needed to let him know now.

He keeps telling me how confused he is. He told me last night that I didnt know how many times he had picked up the phone to call me so say "I wanna come home", and then started analyzing it all and hung up. His therapist told him that he wasnt going to be the type of person to come back on a leap of faith, that he needed to know for sure and that what he cant figure out.

He leaves the therapist with more questions and confused thoughts, yet I know he wants to come home, he is just scared to. I understand.

Now, I hear today that the exOW who got married back in Nov is having problems in her marriage. Ugh, that's all we need is for her to start calling my H again. He does tell his therapist and me that he is over her now. I believe him ,but that wouldnt stop her from calling him.

We did discuss how he and I need to be careful of who we make friends with of the opposite sex and how that can lead to other things. He agreed with me. I told him of my concern with him being friends with this certain other woman.

Well, we had a good talk last night. I did tell him that I wasnt rushing him into anything and that he shouldnt be so hard on himself, its like he is rushing to make a decision. But the thing that is sticking with him is what I told him long ago....I wont wait forever. And I shouldnt. But to me, the 2 years I have already waited was well worth it.