Hi PH! I am all for the Love Dare although my interaction with my wife is rare. I have still not seen the movie, to be honest, since I know that it will be really tough to watch. I just watched "A Walk to Remember" with my daughter and wow! what a weeper.
Just let me know.
MMF, You can do it without seeing her - there's text messaging, voicemail, postal service, the phone. Your imagination will/can come in real handy. Pray about it and see where God leads you in regards to "The Love Dare".
PH, I have to say that regardless of how it "appears", I have a feeling that no matter what the outcome is, I am supposed to continue acting as if I am her husband. I mean as a husband as God intends and not what is commonly believed.
I know that God instructed us husbands to "...love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her..." (Ephesians 5:25) which I have not even come close to. I haven't died for her although I have loved her through all of this. I can do this by taking care of the family, showing forgiveness by not holding on to things or having expectations and to speak kindly of her to others.
In Ephesians it goes on to say after the example of Christ that He did so and I should do so to "make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word...husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies...However each of you also must love his wife as he loves himself..."
Jesus came to this world and gave up all of the heavenly benefits to be tortured, ridiculed, hated and killed, knowing what He would have to go through so that we could have a relationship with Him. I don't think I could've made the decision to get married to my wife knowing what I was going to have to face someday (even though the rewards of my children are worth it).
I know I could look at the fact that she left and that she divorced me as a way to free of any obligations but as I re-read that scripture, I see a Christ who didn't have to die for all of us and take all sin upon Himself knowing we would abandon Him (we are, at some time or another, walk away Christians) but He loved us anyway.
So when someone tells me I have done enough and that I can stop loving her and stop standing for her, I see this scripture and see that He never gave up on us (me) and He asks us to do the same for our wives. He didn't say "unless she does this or that".
I do believe that even if she doesn't come back that He may have another purpose for me. It could be to prepare me for something better. It could be to make me a better father and a role model for my children to help them have more successful marriages. It could be for a multitude of reasons that I cannot even understand right now but I do trust Him (although it is challenging at times).
I will pick up the book and rent the movie, PH.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Something I have learned is that my spouse having an MLC and deciding to call it quits has similar characteristics with the economic conditions we are currently facing. Both make no sense, it hurts like he$l, and it isn't something I want. But most of all, that I have no control over it. I can change my behavior and how I deal with things but I do not control the overall economic conditions.
All I can do is change the things about myself that needs changing. I could also allow myself to get upset and react to changes that aren't positive or I could look for a way to improve my situation.
It won't be easy. It is challenging if you are talking about a source of income being cut off or being upside down in a mortgage but what other options are there.
And I keep thinking about what is the best thing I can do for my family.
I guess dealing with a WAW was further training for dealing with other crises.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
I am taking the advice of a person who I consider very much my mentor when it comes to faith. He has been recommending the book Fireproof even if it has no impact on my W. Even Kirk Cameron recommended the book for anyone who may be considering remarrying in the future as a means to reduce the chance of a failed second marriage. After all, second marriages have a much higher failure rate than first marriages.
I had skimmed through the book while I was at Wally world and can't see any harm in trying it even though I cant apply some of the recommendations directly on my W.
Has anyone else read the book and tried to put it into practice?
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
I have the book, the movie and also the book "The Love Dare" that the movie is based on. I can't bring myself to read any of them or see the movie. I'm not ready for the devastating reminders of my failure yet.
Good luck with it MMF. I believe you will have a much better outlook on it than I do at present.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
